I just found out about you today.
Yesterday, my doctor wanted to take an x-ray of my neck to chart the progress I was making. She asked if I could verify that I wasn’t pregnant. I told her that I’d take a test that night and I would let her know in the morning. I took my first test and it came back positive. It felt too good to be true so we went to sleep. I couldn’t sleep past 6:15 (you’re already starting to affect my sleep, good for you!) so I got up and took another test. Still positive.
I spent the next forty minutes sitting in the man chair, looking out the window, listening to the birds, and reading my bible. My heart was doing all sorts of gymnastics and I was trying to get a handle on what was happening.
I have been waiting my whole life for this news. I have wanted to be a mom since I was old enough to play with dolls and pretend to be a mom with my little brother and sisters. I didn't want to let myself believe it until I had heard from a doctor because I didn't want to get my hopes up.
The thing is, baby, I'm not in control, God is. And He is a really good God. There are a lot of unknowns in pregnancy and factors that only He can control. So I do not know if I will meet you on this side of eternity. If I do, I hope I will have the same grace to commit you to the Lord like Hannah did with Samuel. If I don't meet you, know that I have loved the opportunity to carry you. The pains were worth it. And God is a good father. He will take better care of you than I can.
I'm trying to be a good envelope for you til you get where you are supposed to go.
I already love you and I am so excited to meet and see you,
Mommy
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